just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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