So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
