Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
