You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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