"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
