I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
