My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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