Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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