Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
