I cockslap morals
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
