yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
