Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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