I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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