But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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