I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
