im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The feeling are messing with the penis
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
