Little spoons don't ask big questions
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
