I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
