I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
