I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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