youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
