The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize