She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
