I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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