I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
