before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
