actually, I'm a sock model
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize