So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize