he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize