let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
