I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
