Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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