All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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