It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think people are normalizing furries
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
