So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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