dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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