Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
