this just has baby written all over it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize