he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
