I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
