Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
