the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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