Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
