why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
