dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
