just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
