You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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