Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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