i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My bed smells like the plague
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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