oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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