Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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