he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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