TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
