When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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