C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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