im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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