DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
