I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
