She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
