I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
