when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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