That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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