It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
