i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
